Pulled Pork Platter (Work in Progress)


  • 3 to 4 lb. Pork Loin
  • Salt and Pepper
  • 4 to 6 cloves minced Garlic
  • 1 tsp+ White Pepper
  • 1 tsp+ Onion Powder
  • 1 small Onion*, sliced in rings
  • 2 cups ketchup (next time I’m making my own)
  • 1/4 cup Smokey Whiskey (I used Balcones Brimstone)
  • 1/4 cup Beef Broth
  • 1/4 cup Date Balsamic Vinegar (from Olive-N-Grape)
  • 1 tsp+ Smoked Paprika (ended up throwing more in)
  • 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 tsp+ Sriracha
  • 1 tbsp+ Soy Sauce (or Tamari)

  • 1/4 cup butter (for Gumbo Base)
  • 1/4 cup flour (for Gumbo Base)
  • 4 slices of Bacon, chopped
  • 1 cup chopped Onion*
  • 1/2 cup chopped Green Bell Pepper
  • 1/2 cup chopped Red Bell Pepper
  • 1/4 cup chopped Celery
  • 4 cloves chopped Garlic
  • Salt and Pepper to taste
  • 3 to 4 cups of cooked Rice
  • 1/4 cup chopped Green Onion
Cole Slaw
Just fucking buy some from your friendly neighborhood Mom and Pop Deli. And a lottery ticket.

  1. Blend the Minced Garlic, White Pepper and Onion Powder.
  2. Trim meat, coat with Salt and Pepper then rub with Garlic mix.
  3. Place rubbed Pork in 6 quart Slow Cooker.
  4. Add sliced onion.
  5. Squeeze 2 cups of ketchup into a bowl, pour 1/4 cup Whiskey into the ketchup bottle and shake, then pour the Ketchup-y Whiskey into the bowl.
  6. Add Beef Broth, Vinegar, Paprika, Worcestershire, Sriracha and Soy Sauce.
  7. Mix until consistent and then keep adding extra shit to it for flavor. I’m pretty sure I chucked in more Paprika and White Pepper at this point, maybe even some Parsley Garlic Salt.
  8. Pour mix over the Pork in the Slow Cooker and cook on low for 8-10 hours, or until meat shreds easily with a fork. I clearly need longer forks, fucking sauce burned me a couple of times.
Rice (Start maybe an hour before the Pork is ready.)

  1. Cook 3-4 cups of Rice (final volume), set aside.
  2. Melt Butter in a heavy bottomed skillet over medium to medium high heat.
  3. Slowly mix in the flour a little at a time, stirring constantly.
  4. Continue to stir constantly so you don’t burn and ruin the butter.
  5. When it gets a nice brown color take it off the heat. You now have Dark Roux (Gumbo Base), set it aside.
  6. Saute the Bacon pieces in a large skillet until cooked (just starting to crisp).
  7. Remove the Bacon and set aside.
  8. In the Bacon grease, add the Onion, Bell Peppers and Celery, cook until softened, about 5 minutes.
  9. Add the garlic and cook for another minute or so.
  10. Add the Dark Roux and return the bacon to the pot; reduce heat to medium low, Salt and Pepper to taste, cover and let simmer for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
  11. Add the rice and green onion, stir together.
  12. Cook for a few minutes longer, stirring occasionally, until cooked through.
  13. Taste and adjust seasonings.
When Rice is done and meat is cooked and shredded, load a shitload of rice on a plate, dump a fuckton of Pulled Pork over it and top with less than enormous amount of Cole Slaw.

*  Originally I was going to use a small onion to cook with the meat but instead I used a fucking huge one that I cut in half for each part… rings for the meat and chopped for the rice.
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