Piña Fhtagn on National Piña Colada Day

1 oz Plantation 3 Star White Rum
1 oz Butterfly Absinthe
1/2 oz Green Chartreuse
1/4 oz Oleo Saccharum
2 dashes Dr. Adam Elmegirab Aphrodite Bitters
1/4 cup Diced Pineapple
2 oz Pineapple Juice
1 1/2 oz Chaokoh Coconut Milk
1 1/2 cup ice

Place everything in a blender and blend until smooth. Pour into a Cthulhu Tiki from Horror in Clay (or any other Tiki, Collins, or Piña Colada glass). Garnish with some ridiculous fruit and leaves.

Goddamnit, i wasn’t going to make a freaking Piña Colada. I don’t like frozen drinks and I wasn’t really sure if my tiny blender was an adequate enough blender to really break up ice for a wretched smoothie. But then, as I uttered a dark curse against this drink, and  as the words in the ancient guttural tongue of the blackened depths were spoken, the name ‘Piña Fhtagn’ came out. The will of the nameless ones spoke, I had to make this drink.

I did come across a more modern variation on the Piña Colada that was shaken and poured over ice, but I wanted to keep this as honest a variation as possible. There was no way in Hell I was going to buy a premade mixer so I got a couple brands of Coconut Milk to try, favoring this Chaokoh. It was a bit on the heavy side, but not as much as others so I cut it to 1 1/2 oz from a suggested 2 oz. I knew I had to fit in an absinthe to fit it into the Mythos Absinthe Cocktails but I also wanted to add a little something else to give it some more depth. To help that depth, and a bit more green tint, I added the Chartreuse but also experimented with some newly made Oleo Saccharum and a couple dashes of Aphrodite Bitters which have a desired ginger-ness to them along with a bit of coffee and chocolate that I hoped wouldn’t be too pronounced.

I’m not sure if I’m comfortable publicly admitting how much I enjoyed this drink going down but I did soon regret drinking it. Super fruity, sugary drinks are absolutely not for me and this one made me more than a wee bit ill. Let me know if there is a better way to make these with a better form of Coconut Milk that won’t be as stupid heavy but still has that coconut richness. I don’t want to use any kind of coconut water and mixers are just right out…

P.S. It’s not like I don’t like Coconut and Pineapple… with the leftover ingredients I made this Coconut Rice with Pineapple Chicken I’m really digging…

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