Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Sunset Cocktail: Covfefe


4 oz Vodka
2 oz Gin
1 oz Rum
Orange juice

Find the most bigly glass you have and fill it with ice, make sure it’s the best ice. Use a measuring device, perfectly calibrated and super perfect, to measure out the Vodka, Gin and Rum. Measuring is very, very important and nobody measures better than me, I’m the best alcohol measurer. This ratio is known by the best in the industry, and I know, personally, the very best, they call this the Golden Ratio. I just trumped up the size which, as you know, makes everything better. Fill up the rest of the glass with Orange juice, as that’s the very best thing to make drinks with, and garnish with lots of the really best things… Fuck I don’t have any umbrellas, THE GODDAMNED HATERS AND LOSERS STOLE MY UMBRELLAS!!! After you give it a good stir, dump it the fuck all over yourself because you’re an embarrassment to yourself and everyone you represent.